Word

Some people believe in God, I believe in music. Some people pray, I turn up the radio.


-30 Seconds to Mars

dear husband

husband-

here i sit. alone and pregnant. now.now. now. that sounds a lot worse than it is.  however it is simply fact. you are on a trip and i am home alone. home alone by choice. but i miss every ounce of you. seems you have that certain something that brightens my day no matter the mood. i miss that. just as i miss your presence. your breath beside me at night. the way you change your clothes at least 5 times before work. i did my best not to cry this morning.  i succeeded.  funny the way love is. i couldn't cry. not because i wasn't sad but because it would take away from your happiness. i know you are missing me. right now. at least a teeny bit. even if you are a million miles away. even if you aren't right by my side. i don't worry. from here until we are old and gray we have our lives to live together. and no one can convince me otherwise.

love your i miss you and it's only been twelve hours wife,

me

Dear Husband

husband,

i can call you husband now. i took your name. just as i longed to do. the days and nights i mulled over when this day would come seem so long ago. we have grown together, faced new challenges and fallen more in love than i thought possible. in the not too distant future we will have our "mini us." he/she will be brilliant like you, of this i am certain. i can not wait to meet what is sure to be the love of our lives. creating this with you seems like the perfect continuation of what we have built together. perhaps the most comforting part of all is knowing we will continue to create, grow and love together. from here until forever.

love your so in love with you it is ridiculous wife,
me

dear boyfriend

you lie sleeping

silently

still and peaceful

hand on mine


my world is complete.

i couldn't dream of anything more.

i have everything i never knew i needed

encompassed in cotton

drenched in love

love, i will be your wife someday, say it will be soon,
me

dear self

"Manners are charming, but who are you fooling , you're still nobody's bride"

Jewel

dear boyfriend

perhaps by sleeping in your bed, i am robbing myself of the pleasure of being your wife and sleeping in our bed for the first time, under our roof sharing the same last name.

perhaps i am giving too much too soon.

in which i will then be repaid too little, too late.

dear boyfriend

the phrase; you are permanent.

sounds so simple.

means so much.

love, your little things make me giddy when they come from you,
girlfriend.

"Where you invest your love, you invest your life"

Mumford and sons

L.O.V.E.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Pablo Neruda XVII 

melody enhances the meaning

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life"

Berthold Auerbach

don't hold it against me

it's entirely possible i could live out the rest of my life eating nothing but dark chocolate, dry cereal and a glasses of almond milk. from morning till noon, from 9 till well past bedtime.

the thing is, i never stop to eat chocolate piece by piece, savoring the flavor. instead i shovel it in two by two, possibly four by four, rarely stopping to give it the accolades it so deserves.

lets hope this isn't a metaphor for my life

Words are never just words

"The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple"

Oscar Wilde

it's only in the night you realize

your playlists speak volumes, like mini glimpses into your soul. much like my face shows  expression that is much more telling than i might care to admit. evidently my face has no secrets. but what good would secrets really be without someone to share them with?

"In the depths of winter I finally learned that within me lay an invincible summer"

Albert Camus

dear boyfriend

i love dry cereal straight from the box. in fact it once was my road trip drug of choice. if you add chocolate chips to the mix, it puts me over the top. when you are away i often eat standing, on one leg, in the kitchen. sometimes straight from the box. i call it my secret single behavior, except i would do it in front of you. i feel certain you will still love me. in fact you might even love me more.

love, your manners are charming but who are you fooling girlfriend,

me

dear boyfriend

when you're away. i mean states away. i wear your shirts.

they make me smile. just as you make me smile.

love, your i am so ready to be your wife it hurts girlfriend,

me

dear boyfriend

i miss you when you are gone. when the house is a big empty box. without you, it is not a home. the moment you walk out that door, i launch myself back in bed, throw the covers over my head and breathe in the scent of you that is sure to fade away before your return.

love, your i have never been this in love in all my life until now, girlfriend.

dear someday husband

i hate your laptop bag. the mere sight of it throws me into a tizzy. perhaps that is unfair to the bag. its never done anything to me, it is merely an inanimate object. But you, you are so much more than that. you happen to be my world.

and that bag walks with you right out our door for days, maybe weeks.

i hate that bag.

love, your i'm sorry for blubbering all over you at the airport in such a girl fashion, one day wife.

dear boyfriend

I just got my @ss kicked.

At the gym.

By yours truly.

It's too early for the verdict.

The jury is out.

But I think I liked it.

I'll be sure to report back.

That is if I can walk.

BUT

Don't be surprised if you find me in the fetal position

Cradling chocolate.


love, your i know no limits girlfriend,


me

dear boyfriend

just so you know, i have eaten more chocolate with you than i have with anyone ever. your emails make me smile. they often make my day. i sleep in your shirts when you are gone. i may always be a little awkward but i hope i always make you smile. did you know i often chuckle a bit when picking up your dirty socks? when the house is a mess after a weekend together, i smile because we had fun. you couldn't be more perfect if you tried. when i look into your eyes i see forever. it doesn't scare me. that is what scares me.

dear one day husband

i will never be perfect. i may seem it at times but i assure you i am far from it. i want to be a mom so badly it hurts. i want to be married. i want it more than anything. but only with you. i have never seen a white dress until our first week together. the feelings i had for you so suddenly sent me running, if only in my mind. i couldn't see the forest for the trees. all i saw was you. and me. forever. i thought i may vomit. if you know me at all you know i hate vomit. when we have children, you will have to be on vomit duty. always. i may always fill our closet with so many clothes you can't walk but i promise to always give you the small fork, just like you like. i promise to love you, gray hair, no hair, it doesn't matter. my love for you just can't be stopped. and it scares the living hell out of me. life without you isn't a life i want to know again.

love,
me

dear future past. present and me i long to be

one day you will look back on you, the you are right this moment with longing. you will appreciate the way you look as only a wiser you can. hopefully no big regrets will cross your mind, but lets be honest we know us and that simply could not be true. i will forever be too hard on myself. too critical. i may forever sing and dance even though i probably shouldn't. although i won't always do it when someone is watching. i will most likely be alone. i will forever have a fear of sharing my thoughts with the general public. i will forever say i love you to the boyfriend too many times a day. so many times in fact, i hope he doesn't tire of the words. i hope he doesn't tire of me. i hope to outgrow my insecurities. my inability to say the words when they are needed. my incessant need to write to fill the void in my mind. the thoughts i don't know are there until my fingers hit the keypad. i hope to grow old along side the man i currently sleep beside. i hope to have a garden full of kids. to be the mom who makes the best cookies. the house every kid wants to visit. please don't let us grow old and alone with too many cats. we like cats but not that much. don't let me get me. don't let me over criticize and destroy what's left of me. you have hurt yourself enough. just sit back and enjoy what's laid in front of you.right.at.this.moment. take the time,enjoy this ride. every little pain,every bridge crossed,every tear shed and smile given. breathe and take it all in.